To my pregnant or planning to get pregnant audience, this is for you!
After I had my first baby, I found my self saying “why didn’t anyone tell me about this” & “I wish I would’ve known…” more times than I’d like to admit. Having just gone through my second pregnancy and birth, I realized how much that first experience taught me and I felt so much more empowered going into birth number two. My intention behind this blog post is to hopefully prepare you a little more than I was for pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum phase. I’ve packed up the information I wish someone would’ve handed me when I was first approaching the beautiful phases pregnancy, birth, and postpartum and delivering them to you here. I’ve included actionable advice that you can apply right now whether you are planning on getting pregnant or are currently pregnant. If you’re looking for more nitty gritty details on the fun surprises that come up postpartum, read this blog post (5 things I wasn’t prepared for postpartum).
To give you some context, I’m the type of person that researches the heck out of anything I’m into at that time. So the moment I got pregnant with my first (in Spring 2018, after 2 years of recovering from HA) I was all about birthing podcasts, pregnancy facebook groups, hypnobirthing youtube channels, and all the resources we have at our fingertips today. I definitely had to start limiting my consumption of information so that my brain wouldn’t explode.
Ironically, after all of that prep with my first, my birth went in the exact OPPOSITE direction I planned. I wanted to labor at home, naturally, with essential oils and meditation bowls. I wanted my husband to catch the baby, and then have that magical skin to skin golden hour. Sounds dreamy right? The reality was I was over my due date, low fluid, not dilating on my own, and had to be induced. In hindsight I definitely would have held off, but you don’t know what you don’t know! The induction wasn’t working all that great after 18 hours of unmedicated labor and only dilating to a 3. At that point, I got an epidural, which helped me progress to a 10, but stopped working while I was pushing for 3 plus hours. Long story short, too much time and trauma on the baby, and had to end in an emergency C-section. I was exhausted and that magical moment I had imagined meeting my new baby turned into my husband showing him to me and me puking over the operating table, and then passing out for a couple of hours. (You can read more on Ivan’s birth story here).
I share this not to scare, or say poor me, but to let you know I experienced some turns in the road, and have some hindsight of what I wish I would’ve done while I was pregnant to better prepare for the birth I wanted! However, please keep in mind that I’m a big believer that these sweet spirits having a plan of their own and some of it is completely out of our control! They come when and how they want a lot of the time, so we can’t take all the blame or the credit as the mom, however the birth ends up happening. Hopefully these tips will help get you ready for an amazing birth and postpartum experience.
#1. Learn about your body and your cycle
If you’ve been around here for a while, you know how passionate I am about hormone health and menstrual cycles. The menstrual cycle was the last thing I wanted to learn about when I was a teenager and thought it was cool that mine was non-existant, but I’ve come a long ways! Some of my favorite resources to learn about women’s hormone health and cycles are: The Well-Fed Women Podcast, @Berrionlberry, @Jessicaashwellness
#2. Be open minded and learn about all the outcomes.
As mentioned before, I did a lot of birth prep while I was pregnant with my first, but not once did I let myself even think about a c-section. It terrified me so I just didn’t even go there. I was in the mindset of “don’t think about it and it won’t happen”. Well apparently that didn’t work out for me. I think it’s smart to stay positive through your pregnancy, and surround yourself with positive stories. However, I also think it’s beneficial to prepare for any outcome, because really there’s a lot of possibilities! Had I let myself prepare a little bit more for the possibility of a c-section, I might not have been so terrified & devastated when they brought it up in the hospital after 30 hours of labor. And honestly, the c-section itself wasn’t as bad and scary as I thought it would be! If my future birthing experiences need to be a c-section for a valid reason, I will be totally fine with it.
#2. Invest in a support team.
In the past, I wasn’t one to seek out medical help or intervention very often, so naturally my first pregnancy and birth followed that tendency. As I grow and learn, I am seeing the value of having professionals in all different areas of life. There’s so many amazing people with skills that I don't have. I’m so grateful for the birth and support team I had with my second pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
Here’s the dream team I would suggest:
I would invest in a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist to help prepare for birth, and help with postpartum recovery. The pregnancy appointments are super helpful finding the best position for pushing for your body and babies position! I didn’t even know that was a thing with my first pregnancy. Making sure your pelvis and baby are in the best possible position for birth can go a long ways, especially when trying for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). Here’s a great resource for VBAC’s (if you’re in San Diego, My Pelvic Floor PT at Thrive is amazing!)
I also would invest in a prenatal massage in the 2nd & 3rd trimesters. You’re body is carrying a heavy load around and a massage can do wonders to give relief to the aches and pains, and help you relax (plus you get to lay on your belly in a donut pillow which is incredible).
If it’s in your budget, I would HIGHLY recommend a doula. Having a doula with my second birth made such a difference from my first birth without one. Some hospitals offer a doula for free which is so cool, but having someone you know and trust and get to meet with before is ideal. Husbands are an amazing support, but when you have a doula, the husband can focus on supporting you in ways he knows best, and the doula can relieve him of the extra stuff.
Another part of my team with pregnancy number two was a chiropractor. Again, this was to help my pelvis and baby get into optimal positioning for birth. Find someone who specializes in prenatal care. The round ligament release helped me so much in the 3rd trimester. (If you’re in the San Diego area, I highly recommend Dr. Kim McHugh, she’s incredible).
The last part of my birthing team that I would recommend would be to work with a certified prenatal fitness coach, or invest in an online course to help you exercise safely and intentionally through your pregnancy. I would love to work with you on this! Coaches need coaches too! I worked with Mamaste fit during my second pregnancy and loved their prenatal program.
#3. Learn to relax your pelvic floor.
I’m a person who apparently holds a lot of tension in my pelvic floor. I learned this during my labor experience with my first, and confirmed with my postpartum Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist. This is very common, especially in athletes who are used to engaging the core a lot. If you can master the connection breath during pregnancy, this will really help through labor and postpartum recovery.
#4. Prioritize Rest During Pregnancy
I’m one that tends to go, go, go, and sitting and resting can feel like a foreign concept. I’m so grateful for my HA recovery experience because I learned the importance of rest! This has served me through pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. Yes, we want to stay active during pregnancy, and yes, movement is good. However, there’s a time and a place for rest, and the 3rd trimester is definitely one of those times. In my first pregnancy, I was continuing conventional strength training up until my due date. I learned that this worked against me. My body already has the tendency to be tight, so what I really needed to do to prepare for birth was learn to relax my body and be able to open up the hips and pelvis. The idea of “you’re so strong and fit, you’ll just push that baby right now!” does NOT apply in real life. In my second pregnancy, I changed my workouts a lot the last couple months. I did less muscle-tearing-strength workouts, and I focused more on opening up, getting the blood flowing, and learning to relax and work with my breath in my workouts. Here’s an example. I would NOT recommend the 4 mile up hill walk I did on my due date with my first.
Also, you may not even want to workout those last few weeks and that’s totally fine, especially if you already have a toddler to keep you busy! Adding as much rest as you can leading up to birth will help so much with the physical demands of labor and caring for a newborn that comes shortly after.
#5. Get familiar with meditation and visualization
For my first birth I thought I was prepared with a few positive affirmations, and reading a few birth books. I soon learned that birth, especially if you plan to do an unmedicated birth, is much more mentally challenging than anything else. To prepare for my second birth, which was an unmedicated VBAC, I did some sort of meditation, visualization, and positive affirmation practice each and every day during pregnancy. A few of my favorite resources for this are Bridget Tayler on YouTube (I call her my online Doula), Meditation Momma Podcast, Pregnancy and Birth Made Easy Podcast , The VBAC link podcast & Blog.
#6. Focus on nutrition & hydration
I swear by the 6 dates a day to ripen your cervix! I started incorporating 6 dates a day around 36 weeks with my second pregnancy and my cervix ripened a lot faster than with my 32 hour labor with my first. (Who knows if the dates can take all the credit, but I don’t think it can hurt to try!). It makes a great naturally sweetened treat with peanut butter and some sea salt.
This is a time to really focus on fueling your body and baby with nutrient packed goodness. Pregnancy does crazy stuff to your body, and for a lot of us, the nutrient dense foods are the least appealing to us during this time. My suggestion is to try your best, but don’t over stress. Find a way to pack in some healthy, nutrient staple foods that you can tolerate and supplement when needed! Some foods to consider adding are whole eggs, beef liver (supplement form works great), leafy greens (always add to my smoothies, or pancake recipe), grass-fed beef, Whole-fat grass-fed organic Dairy.
Also, I highly recommend hydrating with an electrolyte mix. I love LMNT! no sugar added, pregnancy safe, and science backed ratios. (Try a free sample with this link if you want to try!)
#7. Believe in yourself
Last, but most important. Believing in yourself and your God given ability to grow and birth your baby goes such a long way with birth prep. When that belief is deeply rooted into the deepest parts of you, you will be unstoppable. This is the first opportunity to tap into the motherly intuition that lives within each of us as women. This belief was much easier to tap into for my second birth because I had already been through nearly 3 years of motherhood that taught me to trust in my capabilities. Prayer was also a big part of this. I prayed for inner strength, confidence, and peace as I prepared for birth.
If this is your first time, please know that you can do this!!
I hope these tips help you and give you wisdom as you prepare for your babies birth. This is such a special time and I truly believe the more you put into prepping for birth, the more special it can become. This event of birth will have such an amazing imprint on your life! What a gift it is to experience.
